i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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