You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
