Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
