look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
