he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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