i just made my gag reflex go away.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
