i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
