I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i would punch a child for taco bell
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
