Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
