I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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