Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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