I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize