AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
