maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
