wat bout pragnant strippers??
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
