you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
