Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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