Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
