I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
the condom got lost in my hair
I seem to have left my pride at pride
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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