I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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