after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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