what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
