Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
