I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize