It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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