We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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