just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
