"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
