i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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