That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
