Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I did not marry a roomba.
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