wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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