would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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