I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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