You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
