She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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