So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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