I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
