Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
