I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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