I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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