you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
