At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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