Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Boobs speak an international language.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
