Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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