she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
