she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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