im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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