Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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