This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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