I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
