Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
