Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Dignity is for republicans.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
