I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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