how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
