I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
