I feel like my teeth are sweating.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
i think my cat just said my name.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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