we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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