I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
