repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize