I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It's rum buckets o'clock
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